Its alright. Ive moved on from it and i forgive you. Dont worry about it. Im sorry, but im with someone else now and to be honest even if i wasnt i doubt we would end up together. We just keep having the same problems every time we try. It doesnt seem to work no matter how much we try, i thought about this a few days after we stopped talking. So... Idk where you want to go from this but we cant be together. Im sorry. Im sorry i didnt answer you earlier, but ive been out to sea since oct 14th. Wont be back for another few days...

That's It. No goodbye, nothing. Like I meant nothing...two years and it never happened. Honestly, I feel like shit. I'm not going to hold back...I am crushed. This is why I don't believe in love. Much less the possibility of someone ACTUALLY caring for another's feelings. How does someone change so quickly, move on so damn fast. REALLY. This was not the guy I fell in love with...not even close. If it was, then honestly what the HELL did I ever see in him. I won't lie, I still thought that eventually I'd get back with him and marry him. He's the only one I wanted. 

My worst problem, how do you respond to something like that, pretending that it never affected you...how do you respond without letting on that you cried, you still are crying...without letting on the fact that you were dumb enough to think that you were going to end up together in the end. 

i should've known.

Okay, well nice knowing you. I hope you succeed in all you do & that this relationship goes well for you. I'll just let you be now, I'm sorry for all the trouble I have caused. I guess this is goodbye. That's all.  I like how harsh that message was though...but I fully understand. What's best for you is what's best for you, Haha, I guess I can't say I'll see you later but life goes on (:

There's my response. What I could come up with anyways...this is what he does to me. How can he ALWAYS have the last laugh, the happiness, and the last word? He always wins...& I'm left, always. I'm the one who runs back when it's too late. He's the reason I have trust issues. He tried fixing them, but he made them worse. How come we always remember the good things when the past relationship just screams "horrible" he left for one girl (4 years younger) then came back...did it again but cheated, then comes back. The moment you realize maybe you aren't ready for something serious, he gets mad....and then you stop talking only to find out that message above. Well...I guess I do wish him the best, happiness that I never gave him. I must be too caring if I can't even say I hate him...I must really love him if all I can say is that I wish him happiness....damn. He doesn't even know.

I usually write at times like this, usually songs & i thought I'd put what I have so far on here. Here you go:

I wake up in the morning with a tear-stained face,

I rinse with water so it can be erased,
another start to another day.
Everyone just smiles and says I'll be okay.

I read over and over what you sent,
I think I've got it memorized

you said you found someone new
& we'll never have another chance in your eyes.

I tried to read between the lines, 

but I couldn't understand you, 

it ended with "I'm sorry"
like you forgot everything I went through,

all for you.

I wish you the best, I wish you well.
I hope that life gives you blessings, 

and you never go through hell.
I hope you find someone, that's good for you.
Someone that's going to give you what you wanted,

and follow through.

I hope every wish you wish, upon a shooting star,

finds you in good keeping

wherever you are.

wherever you are.

There is what I have so far, we'll see if I finish it. I wish, I could become a singer...I have a feeling that my songs would reach out to more than just me. I mean, I write about stuff in my life, mostly boys (or just one mainly) but they provide GREAT inspirations. Thank you for letting me vent on & on about how frustrated he makes me. You just don't understand, or maybe you do...love sucks.

God. I know you are out there somewhere...I wish you would give me a sign, a sign that there is happiness on the way. I know that this was a sign that he wasn't the one for me & man, that sign hurt. Please, I ask just help me through this hell of a time. It's only through you that I can mean this sincerity and wish him the best. Just give me the strength to continue on, the wisdom to choose my decisions, peace to calm this stressful mind, and rest to begin each day with a smile. Amen.

Thanks Everyone for reading & REMEMBER:

Truth Speaks when Faith Listens

-tiff-xo.